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  • As a qualified mediator specialising in trauma-informed mediation and trauma-informed legal practice, I’ve witnessed firsthand how deeply our past experiences shape present conflicts. Over years of facilitating difficult conversations between people in crisis, I’ve come to understand something fundamental: the way we conceptualise our psychological wounds profoundly influences our capacity to resolve disputes, rebuild relationships, and move forward with our lives....

    12 November, 2025

  • Ever feel like you're constantly in a tug-of-war, even when you're just trying to get someone to put on their shoes? Congratulations, you're a parent! And if you have a toddler, you're likely engaged in a daily, high-stakes, unscripted negotiation marathon. Forget boardrooms and complex contracts; your little one is demonstrating "negotiation genius" right there in your living room! Turns out, like it or not, you are a negotiator. ...

    01 July, 2025

  • The drama within South Africa’s Government of National Unity (GNU) right now is like watching a messy divorce mediation unfold, except instead of fighting over who gets the couch, they’re arguing about VAT hikes and land expropriation. Let’s dive into this political soap opera and see how it hilariously mirrors the chaos of splitting up with your ex....

    11 April, 2025

  • We can’t get enough of drama—on screen, that is. We love drama—when it’s happening to other people. Whether it’s Ross yelling “We were on a break!” for the hundredth time in Friends, or Monica and Chandler trying to hide their relationship while the gang obliviously debates conspiracy theories, TV disputes are hilarious, messy, and addictively entertaining. But when conflict happens in real life—at work, in relationships, or over who actually forgot to take the trash out—it’s suddenly not so fun...

    14 March, 2025

  • Anger automatically triggers a whole grocery list of physiological responses that complicate effective communication – after all, you are preparing to fight or flee and not to negotiate the best outcome in a structured manner. ...

    11 February, 2025

  • When you think about conflict resolution and cervical screening, you probably don't imagine they'd have much in common. Yet, surprisingly, getting a pap smear shares some uncanny similarities with sitting down at a mediation table to resolve disputes. For starters, both involve exposing yourself - albeit in very different ways. In mediation, you're laying bare your grievances and vulnerabilities, while a pap smear, well, that's self-explanatory. Both scenarios require a level of trust in prof...

    06 January, 2025

  • What if I told you that mediation is actually more like a pineapple – surprisingly complex, potentially sweet, and requiring some serious skill to crack open? First, let's talk about the exterior. A pineapple looks absolutely intimidating. Those spiky, armoured leaves are basically nature's "keep out" sign. Sound familiar? ...

    27 November, 2024

  • I stumbled upon a technique (usually used in negotiation) that transformed seemingly deadlocked disputes into pathways of understanding. By deliberately crafting questions designed to invite a "no" response, I saw remarkable breakthroughs in even the most entrenched conflicts....

    27 November, 2024

  • How many times have people frantically typed "meditation" when they desperately needed information about "mediation"? The internet is littered with confused souls seeking enlightenment when what they really want is someone to help them navigate a workplace dispute or family disagreement....

    20 November, 2024

  • Mediation can play a vital role in the implementation of the Code of Good Practice on the Integration of Employment Equity into Human Resources Policies in South Africa. This Code, which is part of the Employment Equity Act (EEA), aims to promote equal opportunity and fair treatment in the workplace while eliminating unfair discrimination. ...

    15 November, 2024

  • Employers' legal responsibilities and recommended practices for protecting the health and safety of pregnant and breast-feeding employees. The code specifically addresses physical, ergonomic, chemical, and biological hazards in the workplace that could potentially harm pregnant employees or their children....

    15 November, 2024

  • The Code outlines guidelines for structuring working time in a manner that considers employee health, safety, and family responsibilities. The Code emphasises the importance of communication, consultation, and collaboration between employers and employees in establishing and implementing working time arrangements. ...

    15 November, 2024

  • Guidelines for creating a working environment where sexual harassment is unacceptable and offers a step-by-step procedure for resolving complaints. The Code encourages employers to develop policies, procedures, and training programs to prevent and address sexual harassment in the workplace....

    15 November, 2024

  • The Code details various forms of harassment, including sexual harassment, racial and ethnic harassment, and hostile work environments, and offers procedural guidelines and policies for employers to prevent and address such issues....

    15 November, 2024

  • Code of Good Practice on HIV/AIDS and Employment published in 2000 provides guidelines for employers, trade unions, and employees on how to create a non-discriminatory workplace for people living with HIV/AIDS. The Code also outlines strategies for managing the impact of HIV/AIDS on the workplace, including preventing the spread of the virus, providing support to affected individuals, and minimising the associated costs. ...

    15 November, 2024

  • An interesting question arose on the potential areas for mediation in the Code of Good Practice on Key Aspects of Disability in the Workplace will be discussed. Several areas where mediation could be used in resolving potential disputes may arise and to better adhere to the Code of Good Practice on Key Aspects of Disability in the Workplace ...

    15 November, 2024

  • Imagine resolving conflicts with a deeper understanding of the hidden forces shaping every decision. Unveiling the power of cognitive biases in mediation could be your secret weapon for achieving breakthrough outcomes. Understanding cognitive biases that might be “stuffing up your thinking” is crucial for mediators because it helps them recognise and address the unconscious influences that can affect decision-making and communication. By being aware of these biases, mediators can better facilit...

    23 July, 2024

  • In the complex world of business, conflicts are inevitable. These disputes, if not managed effectively, can lead to significant financial losses and damage to business relationships. South African commercial entities often find themselves at a crossroads, having to choose between mediation and arbitration as methods to resolve their conflicts. Both are forms of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) and serve as viable alternatives to traditional litigation. This blog post aims to delve into the s...

    17 July, 2024

  • Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) encompasses various methods designed to resolve conflicts outside traditional courtroom litigation. Among these methods, negotiation and mediation stand out as two primary tools. While both aim to achieve a mutually acceptable resolution, they differ significantly in approach, structure, and execution. This blog post delves into the key differences between negotiation and mediation, particularly within the context of South Africa, to provide a comprehensive u...

    16 July, 2024

  • Disputes are short-term disagreements that are typically easier to resolve and generally involve negotiable interests, such as price negotiations or task assignments at work. Solutions to disputes can be found that partially satisfy both parties' interests. In contrast, conflicts are long-term, deep-rooted problems involving non-negotiable issues, often tied to fundamental values, identity, security, and recognition. Examples include moral or value differences, high-stakes distributional issues,...

    14 July, 2024

  • Some mediators go above and beyond by becoming trauma-informed, which can have a profound impact on their ability to help clients in distress. In this blog post, we will explore the benefits of being a trauma-informed mediator and how this approach can positively influence the outcomes of mediation sessions. To begin, let's understand what it means to be a trauma-informed mediator. Trauma-informed mediation is an approach that acknowledges the prevalence and impact of trauma on individuals an...

    24 April, 2024

  • In the world of mediation, where the primary ethos is about bridging divides and promoting understanding, the presence of unethical mediators can significantly undermine the profession’s integrity and efficacy. As the practice becomes increasingly mainstream in resolving disputes across various domains—be it business, family, or civil matters—the spotlight turns on the quality and ethical standards of the mediators themselves. The overconfidence in resolution One of the critical concerns...

    23 April, 2024

  • In South Africa, a parenting coordinator (PC) is a professional who assists parties in resolving parenting disputes, particularly in high-conflict situations. Here's a detailed overview of their role, appointment, duties, benefits, and the circumstances under which they are employed: Appointment Parenting coordinators (PCs) are designated to reduce the harmful impact of ongoing high-conflict co-parenting situations on children, the legal system, and the families involved. Despite the absence...

    18 April, 2024

  • Cape Talk 567Fm: Two local mediators from Dignified Dispute Resolution, Karen Botha and Eugene Opperman join Pippa Hudson for a conversation about trauma-informed mediation....

    18 March, 2024

  • When allegations of child abuse arise during a mediation session, the mediator must navigate a delicate balance between maintaining the confidentiality of the mediation process and fulfilling their duty to report suspected abuse. The mediator's primary responsibility is to ensure the safety and well-being of the child in question. A couple of legislation deals with either the mandatory or the discretionary reporting of child abuse....

    26 February, 2024

  • The concept of blended families has become increasingly prevalent in the evolving landscape of modern families. Blended families, formed through remarriage or re-partnering, bring together individuals with diverse backgrounds, experiences, and expectations. While blending families can offer the promise of new beginnings and enlarged support networks, it also introduces unique challenges. Mediation plays a crucial role in addressing these challenges, providing a constructive and communicative fra...

    23 February, 2024

  • Divorce can be a tumultuous journey, and many individuals seek out aggressive "pit bull" lawyers in the hopes that their fierce representation will secure the best outcome for their children. However, before you unleash a legal attack dog, it's important to carefully consider your options. Despite the belief that a courtroom showdown is the answer, practice has shown that what's truly in the best interest of your children may not be found in an acrimonious court battle. Divorce is a difficult an...

    20 February, 2024

  • Mediators must act as a vessel for communication to facilitate rational understanding and clarification among participants to the discussion. Here are a few ways the mediator can utilise active listening in the context of a roundtable discussion: Capturing Key Points As participants share their perspectives, the mediator actively listens to identify and capture the key points of their statements. This involves paying attention to both the content and the emotional tone of what is being said. Wh...

    16 February, 2024

  • Economic abuse is a type of abuse that differs from financial mismanagement in its deliberate use of finances and resources to gain power and control in a relationship. Its end goal is to create a sense of dependence, limit opportunities, and perpetuate a cycle of fear and isolation. Unlike other visible forms of abuse, like physical or verbal aggression, economic abuse can often be elusive and tough to uncover. However, with a trauma-informed mediator leading the way, subtle hints and cues can ...

    13 February, 2024

  • The bully mediator doesn't wield a fist, but their weapon is far more insidious – power dynamics and emotional manipulation. Here are some of the tactics they might employ: • Bait-and-switch: Initially presenting themselves as impartial, they gradually shift their position, favoring one party and subtly disparaging the other. • The ticking clock: Instilling fear by emphasizing the financial and emotional costs of protracted litigation, pressuring clients to settle quickly, regardless of thei...

    12 February, 2024

  • In a world where conflicts are inevitable, the approach we choose to resolve them can make a profound difference. Mediation and litigation represent two distinct paths towards resolution, each with its own set of advantages and disadvantages. However, as we navigate an ever-evolving legal landscape, the benefits of mediation are becoming increasingly evident. Mediation: A Collaborative Dance Mediation is a voluntary process where a neutral third party, the mediator, facilitates communication...

    09 February, 2024

  • The dreaded "storm out" – a dramatic punctuation mark in the already turbulent narrative of divorce. During divorce negotiations, a powerful display of emotion can often be seen when someone is feeling disrespected, undervalued or angered - this is known as a "storm out". It is a physical reaction, relying solely on non-verbal cues, conveying feelings that cannot be put into words. Whether it is a conscious decision to make a statement or a product of emotional overload, storm outs can often be ...

    08 February, 2024

  • Using an unqualified divorce mediator can have serious consequences for your divorce process and outcome. Some of the dangers of using an unqualified divorce mediator are: • You may end up with a settlement agreement that is unfair, illegal, or unenforceable. • Without the proper legal knowledge and expertise, the mediator may not be equipped to help you create a thorough and valid agreement that addresses all aspects of your divorce, including property division, spousal support, child care,...

    05 February, 2024

  • Non-Violent Communication (NVC) is a method aimed at increasing empathy and sustaining respect, based on the principles of nonviolence and equality. This person-centered mode of communication was developed by clinical psychologist Marshall Rosenberg beginning in the 1960s and 1970s. It proposes the following systematic steps in voicing complex expressions with assertion, without aggression: 1. Observation/ Fact: The first step involves making clear and specific observations about a factual situ...

    03 February, 2024

  • The impact of sexual harassment extends far beyond the immediate incident, affecting victims both personally and professionally. Victims who experience sexual harassment may face emotional distress, anxiety, depression, a decreased sense of self-worth, and a decrease in job satisfaction. Beyond the immediate psychological toll, sexual harassment can lead to physical health issues, intensifying stress-related conditions. Moreover, the toxic workplace atmosphere created by sexual harassment can le...

    02 February, 2024

  • Discussion on the Radio 702 show with Clement Manyathela with Adv Praise Kambula, Lisa Vetten and Sheena Jonkers on the issue of mediation in domestic violence courts...

    01 February, 2024

  • With the advent of court-referred mediation in Rule 41A of the High Court Rules, mediation and related career opportunities have skyrocketed. Many entrepreneurs, law graduates and attorneys see this as the best time to gain accreditation as a mediator after completing a course and gaining panel membership to a mediation body as such. The superfluous nature of mediation as a career at present has simultaneously offered various career prospects, but also a difficulty in regulation and navigating o...

    29 January, 2024

  • "When all you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail," perfectly captures the potential pitfall of relying on a single approach to conflict resolution. In the world of mediation, this translates to overdependence on certain techniques or strategies, even when they're not the best fit for the situation. Let's explore some common "hammers" in mediation and the unintended consequences of overusing them: 1. The "Quick fix hammer": Driven by the desire for a speedy resolution,...

    28 January, 2024

  • Trauma-informed mediation involves adapting the mediation process to accommodate the specific needs of trauma survivors. Mediators may implement strategies to manage triggers or emotional distress during the mediation session, such as incorporating grounding techniques, providing breaks, or allowing for additional support persons to be present. Shifting the lens: understanding trauma-informed mediation Unlike conventional models, trauma-informed mediation doesn't merely focus on resolving...

    24 January, 2024

  • However, despite its potential, even a single misstep, a poorly chosen word, can shatter the delicate dance of compromise and reignite discord. As participants turn to mediation with the best of intentions, there are some who unknowingly sabotage the process with their words, leading to an unsuccessful outcome. In this vulnerable space, certain phrases have the power to detonate trust and goodwill. So, before venturing into the arena of mediation, equip yourself with the knowledge of what not ...

    23 January, 2024
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