Stirrups and settlements: the peculiar parallels between pap smears and mediation

When you think about conflict resolution and cervical screening, you probably don’t imagine they’d have much in common. Yet, surprisingly, getting a pap smear shares some uncanny similarities with sitting down at a mediation table to resolve disputes.

For starters, both involve exposing yourself – albeit in very different ways. In mediation, you’re laying bare your grievances and vulnerabilities, while a pap smear, well, that’s self-explanatory. Both scenarios require a level of trust in professionals who’ve seen it all before, whether it’s your deeply personal workplace drama or your cervix.

The preparation phase is remarkably similar. Just as you might gather your documents and steel your nerves before mediation, you also collect your medical history and muster your courage before a pap smear. In both cases, you’re likely thinking, “Do I really have to do this?” while simultaneously knowing it’s for your own good.

Then there’s the matter of the neutral third party. Your mediator, like your gynecologist, is professionally trained to handle delicate situations with clinical detachment. Both professionals have mastered the art of navigating the mediation process and facilitate healthy conversation while dealing with situations that might make others squirm. They’ve also perfected the reassuring “I’ve seen worse” expression that somehow makes everything slightly more bearable.

Timing is crucial in both scenarios. A pap smear, like mediation, requires scheduling at the right moment. Choose the wrong time, and things can get messier than necessary. Both also involve an uncomfortable period of waiting – whether it’s waiting for test results or waiting for the other party to respond to your settlement proposal.

The power dynamics are interesting too. In both situations, you’re technically in control and can stop the process at any time, yet there’s an unspoken understanding that pushing through is probably the best option. You’ve come this far, after all, and rescheduling is such a hassle.

Communication is key in both scenarios, though the nature of the dialogue differs slightly. In mediation, you’re encouraged to express your needs, feelings and concerns openly in order to work together to find a solution that works for both participants. During a pap smear, your communication might be limited to nervous laughter and the occasional “Is it supposed to feel like that?” But in both cases, clear communication can make the difference between a smooth process and an unnecessarily complicated one.

Both experiences also involve a certain amount of posturing. In mediation, it might be maintaining a strong negotiating position despite wanting to concede. During a pap smear, it’s pretending you’re completely comfortable when you’re lying there in a paper gown that never quite closes properly.

The concept of necessary discomfort applies to both situations. Neither process is particularly pleasant, but both serve important preventive functions – one for your health, the other for your legal and financial wellbeing. Both can catch potential problems early before they develop into more serious issues.

The relief when it’s all over is comparable too. Whether you’ve just reached a settlement or heard “all done” from your doctor, there’s that wonderful moment when you realise you can return to your normal life. Both experiences typically end with scheduling follow-up appointments that feel blessedly far away in the future.

Perhaps the most important similarity is that both processes, while uncomfortable, represent taking control of your life in meaningful ways. Whether you’re addressing conflict through mediation or maintaining your health through regular screenings, you’re actively choosing to handle important matters head-on rather than avoiding them.

Next time you’re facing either situation, remember – at least it’s not the other one.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Compiled by Eugene Opperman (B.Proc. LLB.) (LSSA L.E.A.D., ADR Network, FAMAC, NABFAM), a legal practitioner and accredited mediator.